17 June 2013

Ode to Carbohydrate Woman

Carbohydrate woman, carbohydrate woman
How you talk about carbohydrates
It is plain to see that you are no shaman
For no lack of trying, you are what grates

You have not magical powers
And your science is flawed
How else could we see the flowers
Down the path that you have sawed

Carbohydrate woman, carbohydrate woman
Your potion is definitely not for humans
Of any type, especially not for man
For it runs off our backs like cumins

The USDA has warped your genes
With their bad science led you astray
Hopefully someday you will see greens
And know that you must retire from the fray

Carbohydrate woman, carbohydrate woman
Carbohydrates may be good for the goose
Carbohydrates may be a poison to the man
They're not good for the gander in the loose

The ADA has loosened its hold
On carbohydrates for sure
And if I may be so bold
Maybe you need to be as pure.

Carbohydrate woman, carbohydrate woman
ADA has at last opened their minds
And said diets are fit for the human
For you, carbohydrate is the tie that binds

Your mind is as solid as concrete
Stolid and can't bend in the breeze
Carbohydrates is all your mind can secrete
As if opposition caused your mind to freeze

Carbohydrate woman, carbohydrate woman
Increasing the portions of fat and protein
Has allowed me to be more human
For you, that still remains to be seen

The academy of which you are a member
Needs to consider being more transparent
And if not, it should remember
You are not the heir apparent

Carbohydrate woman, carbohydrate woman
Glycemic control myopia fits you to a tee
You're a narrow minded, intolerant woman
And that is plain for the world to see

When, oh when will you quit
And leave this world to wiser geese
The world is not for you a good fit
With the flutter, whine, and wheeze

This is my weak attempt to poke some fun at the profession(s) that are constantly promoting carbohydrates and that we need to eat an outrageous number at each meal. The American Diabetes Association has reduced the number and stated that many of the diets are currently acceptable including low carbohydrate plans.

No comments:

Post a Comment